Tuesday, December 29, 2009

2 Word tuesday!

Lazy days!

New Year

This time of year always makes me reflective. I try and decide what I would like the new year to be about and how to make it happen. this year I am so undecided on what I want to happen in my life. I have taken a temporary district managers position at work. It is for at least 10 weeks. It could be permanent if i want to move, but i don't' think I want to move i mean my house is payed for in less than 5 years. i also don't know if this is the best time for me to be traveling as much as the position requires. The wyfe just got into her clinical rotation with school and I would like to be home for her as much as possible. I know that school will require her to study much more from here on out and I want to be a good support system for her. i do know that this year I am going to let go of lots of things. I think that I have held on to things in my life that I have no control over. this is the time in my life that I need to let them go, i need to focus on making me happy so that positive energy and good things come into my life. I need to make myself a priority and not feel bad for doing so. I need to focus on my family and keep them safe and happy. I know that this will be a challenging year and I'm not sure how it will end or where i will be this time next year but I know that I will take the time that i need to focus on me.
I hope that you all get what you want from 2010. Be safe have fun and love and live well!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Merry Christmas!!!!

Here is to wishing all of you a safe and happy holiday!!!
The picture is of the homemade gift the kids, wyfe and I made for all the grandparents. We call them Mistletoes. (those are the kids feet)
Hope santa is good to you and you get what you want. I have been given the best gift ever in my wyfe and family and all of you.
Happy Holidays!!!!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Monday, December 21, 2009

Crazy week !

this is going to be one of those weeks. I am so thankful that work has slowed down to a mere crawl, but because it has been so busy I am way behind on what I need to get done at home. I don't have a single present wrapped, my house needs to be cleaned, I need to do the grocery shopping and do laundry. I have to work today and tomorrow, then the wife has her little surgery on Wednesday. I am not sure when I will find the time to get everything done, but I will. I love/hate this time of year. I love that we get together with friends and family. I hate that it is so focused on what you get someone and how much money is spent. I would love to celebrate Christmas next year in July on a warm sandy beach. Anyone want to join us???

Thursday, December 17, 2009

is this really still happening?

As many of you know there has been a substantial amount of drama in my life as of late. In the last year I have come clean about an affair and I thought that we had put the entire thing behind us, this was only partly true, we still had somethings to talk through and in the last two weeks we have come to a new understanding and place in our relationship.I am confident that my marriage will be just fine and we will move on from here. my marital drama my be over but in it's place is now bloggy drama. I'm sure many of you are familiar with DawgDyke. She had an amazing blog that made me smile. She has quit blogging and I hope that someday she is able to start again, but that is not the point of this blog. I will say that away from blogland and twitter Renee has become my friend. When i thought my world was coming to an end she was there for me, she let me cry, she let me rant she just listened. As her readers know she too has had a fair amount of drama in her life as of late. I hope that I have been as helpful to her as she has been to me. with all that said we are just friends no more no less. I have no plans to be with her no thoughts that we should ever be together. I just don't see her like that. She is an amazing woman but we are way too much alike in so many ways that it would not even be possible. I am putting all of this out there because it has come to my attention that some of you are being told that Renee and I are interested in each other or even that we are an item. I think this is happening because when things end someone needs to be blamed. As I have said already I have had way to much of this High school type drama in my life I want it to end so that I can once again get the positive flow of energy in my life going. I will say physical violence is no way to end anything, people come and go from our lives all the time but violence should never be there. I think it is beyond time to act like the adults we are, if you have something to say to me all I can say is Bring It, I know where I stand and who has my back

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

2 Word tuesday!

DRAMA OVER........OK so i have to add a thank the goddess here!!!!

200th Post!

Yep and I Had no idea it was coming. I have been crazy busy at work so a friends agreed to help me out with a guest post. I'm sure she will be making more appearances here so enjoy.
It's crazy. I can't sleep when I should be. So lets hope this post makes sense due to my lack of sleep.

Shelly is flipping the page to 200! She sure can bitch, moan, and of course gloat. I look forward to the next 200 blogs as I'm sure you (her readers) do too.

I've been asked to guest post. Thing is you won't know who I am. I live for mystery!
I'm young but wise. I'm charming with a splash of deadly. I'm butch yet still love a good pedicure. I'm a lesbian who LOVES women. Women are so unique, so intriguing, so much work! But the thing is ... women are highly manipulative. The way they walk, strut past you, and swing their hips. The way they smile, smirk, and lick their lips. The way they can change their voice from sweet, to seductive, to vengeful all in one conversation.

When you find the woman you can not live without it isn't always clear. Some days you need to be hit over the head with a frying pan to realize it. While other days you know just by seeing her smile.

If you have the woman you can not live without hold her tight. Kiss her forehead. Tell her you love her. She deserves it.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

2 Word tuesday!

THANK YOU.... we will now return to your regularly scheduled rantings.....

Monday, December 7, 2009

i stepped in it now!!!

As I have blogged before, I cheated on the wife. It has been over a year ago, but things have once again come up. No I haven't cheated again. It seems that the wife has just yet to let it go. I thought that things were going smooth and that we were back on track. We had talked in depth about her rejoining then military as soon as don't ask don't tell goes away, we had made other long term plans. It now comes out that she is not sure she wants to be here anymore. I am not sure how to handle this or what to do I want this to work, but not sure where to go or how to fix it, or if it can be fixed. I guess that it's up to her. so i just have to wait and see.

Saturday, December 5, 2009


the first snow of the year is falling as I type. This is not making me anymore festive. I am just annoyed that I have to clean off my car. I guess I should have parked in the garage. The wife and kids are going to a jingle bell parade this morning, then ice skating. i am not really to upset that I have to work, I don't want to play in the snow, I don't like the cold. I know I sound like a scrooge but work kills the holiday spirit. I have Tuesday off then i work until the 23rd. the silver lining is I get the week between Christmas and new years off!!!
I hope if you are getting the snow that you are able to have some fun in it or in front of a fire with the one you love.
Happy Saturday!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009


this has been the craziest week, with work and work and more work, but I have managed to squeeze in two yep two blogger buddy meet and greets. last week as the pictures show the wife and I met propane Amy. Ames or as S renamed her Wank came and spent the night with us. If you haven't had the pleasure of meeting this crazy wonderful lady you really must. She was the same as she is on the blog and just as lovable. We had a great great time with her. Today we got together with Amy for lunch and she brought Kim. We had a ball with them and I can't wait to get together with Kim again soon. we live closer together than I thought we did. This is a good thing!!! this was just what I needed to help me recharge for the rest of the busy season!

Sunday, November 22, 2009

to the family

to the family.....
I know that I have been home very little this week and it won't get any better until Christmas eve. I just wanted you to know that without the way you all step up and help this time of year I would be lost. Thanks to the wife for letting me do this crazy job that I love/hate. You are the best, I promise after all this is over I will cook again.

On a side note I am looking forward to this week I only have to work 54 or so hours and Propane Amy is coming to visit!!!!!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

LEGO Party!!!

ok so I thought I posted this last night, oooops, better late than never!
The party is over! It was great, only 3 of e's friends made it to the party but we had a great time. My mom and my Bob made it, my ex inlaws, our friend t and K's boyfriend all showed up so we had plenty of people here. E's bff came home with him from school on the bus. i think it's cute because his bff is a girl. She played lego's with the boys, and did better than I would have. I still cant't believe my middle man is 10.

Monday, November 16, 2009

E turns 10!

I can not believe that my middle man turns 10 tomorrow. I am setting here looking at him and it makes me sad, well not sad but defiantly something. He is such a good kid and I am a better mom because of him. Tomorrow we are having a lego party with 7 kids and a bunch of adults. wish me luck!

Sunday, November 8, 2009

mama's night out

So the wife and I went out this weekend. We don't get to do this very often. It was a friend of ours 40Th birthday and our favorite band was playing. We drove 150 mile just to go to a birthday party, but I would do it again in a heart beat. It was just what I needed to get me recharged for this busy time at work. Here are just a couple of pics of the night.the band is JustUs out of middle town ohio. the blond in the do-rag is the birthday girl and the other is just us.

Work is crazy as it always is this time of year. I have a meeting with my district manager and my regional director this week. nothing big just going over some stuff. I am ready for the week so bring it on!

Saturday, October 31, 2009

ummm where did the last 2 weeks go

OMG the last 2 weeks of October are gone.where did they go???
it's been crazy here at home and at work, i haven't blogged in 2 weeks and haven't read many either, I hope to have time to catch up soon. here are the high points of the last 2 weeks

* I hired a new girl at work to replace the scabies girl!!!
* since new hire I have worked 50 + hours a week!! love the ot
* the daughter had a run in with the ex bf so I spent a day with principals
* daughters ex now has to be nice!!!!
* E was citizen of the month for October.
* E won a coloring contest at school for red ribbon week, don't do drugs be a hairdresser was his poster!! ( yeah a hairdresser)
* Trick or treat was a great success!
It's been crazy and will only get crazier at work, I work like a dog for 6 weeks out of the year, I can't complain. I hope you all are well and I will catch up soon.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

oh what a birthday!!!

So I turned 35 yesterday,the wife took me to the zoo. We went with our whole family, the wife's mom,step dad,sister brother in law and their 2 kids and some other kid. My mom and my bob went too. The kids all dressed in Halloween costumes and we had a great day. I told myself that I would enjoy the day no mater what, an I did. I didn't let the in laws get to me and enjoyed the day. My wife woke me up with singing and kisses, the kids behaved so well all day. we rode rides, saw animals and had a great great day. I think one of my favorite moments was riding the scrambler with my mom, she belly laughed the whole time. I think this year is going to be more about family for me. I want to spend as much time as I can doing things that the kids will remember for the rest of their lives. We only have about 18 months before K graduates from high school, then she will be joining the Air Force and starting her own adventures. Thanks to everyone who has wished me a happy birthday, it means so much.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

My daughter

My daughter is 16, she is a junior in high school and she is the typical teenage girl. She tries my patience, she aggravates me to tears and she worries me. She also fills me with pride, makes my heart swell with love, and she amazes me everyday. I was 18 when i had my daughter, I believe that everything that life hands us is for a reason.I say this because I know had I not gotten pregnant with her I would not have the life that I have now. I know that I would have moved away from my small home town and then I wouldn't have E, S or the wife. My daughter may not have been in my plans, but I thank the goddess each and everyday for the unexpected joy that she has been. She is growing up way way to fast. Tonight she competed in her conference championship run for cross country. She placed 23 out of 112 girls. she didn't quite make the time she wanted but it was freezing cold and she did very well. (she missed her time by 12 seconds)I watch her everyday and wonder what she will grow to be. she dreams of going to the Air Force like her mama, She wants to be a police dog handler. I have told her she can be what ever she wants to be I will love her no matter what. I am adopted so when she was born I remember thinking this is the first person that I have ever been connected to, my blood runs in her veins I will protect her. It seems like that was just yesterday.I can't wait to see what she will make of herself. She has already made me so proud.

Monday, October 12, 2009

they will melt your heart

Could you not just eat them up with a spoon! This was on Sunday while I was at work, s grabbed E yelled cheese. The wife was quick enough to get the camera and get this great shot. They make me laugh they make me smile and they drive me crazy but look at them.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

the oath

Today was a long long day, the wife and I took the kids to "the skull session" at the Ohio state game.(skull session is a way to make pep rally sound more butch). Today was the day that the wife took her oath of enlistment for the Air Force Reserves. I was an emotional mess as she took the oath, I have never been more proud of her. It was hard for me to sit there and watch her as just her friend. It was hard for me to not throw my arms around her when she came off the floor. I am so proud that she wants to do this and I will standby her. I know that she feels this is what she should be doing and I respect that it's just hard for me to understand how she can do this when they would throw her out for just being herself. on that note I should say the wife was in a tshirt with her double Venus symbol tat shining on the back of her neck and her rainbow star showing on her wrist.
It was refreshing to hear Obama say that DADT should go away tonight and I hope it does very very soon. I know that is will be hard to keep my hands off once she is in the new camies!!!!

Saturday, October 3, 2009

chix 4 a cure.

Today the wife kids and I went to a breast cancer benefit. k ran the 5K and won in her age division. It was nice to see my little community get behind one of their own. There were about 500 people that came out for the run/walk. There were people that came in from all over the country to participate and get behind the survivor. It was a beautiful day and the daughter did us proud. I wish that we had known about this sooner and then the wife and I would have participated. I want to take the daughter and do the Susan g Komen run in may. It's what I'm training for now, and it will get one of the things on my bucket list accomplished. all in all it was a great day and something very worth getting behind!

Monday, September 28, 2009

I think I need to dyke it up some!

The wife called me at work today to inform me that I am no longer allowed to freak out over spiders. Apparently S freaked out today because there was a spider near him. He came running in the room screaming ewww ewww, bug,get it, spider, spider, kill it. Yeah that's me Spiders turn me into a big ole blubbering baby. I hate them, they have to many legs and they are just creepy looking. I guess that I will have to dyke it up and try..... Like that's going to happen.

Saturday, September 26, 2009


As you all know I have a 16yr old daughter. She was in a very bad high school relationship that thankfully ended this summer. She then started dating a guy that was very sweet and treated her well. here's the problem this boy reminds me of the way my ex husband was back in high school. this boy was polite and kind and had absolutely no desire to do anything ambitious with his life. This may sound wrong and I hope it doesn't come out mean but he is just so not what I want for my daughter. Well she broke up with him on Thursday and this kid is still coming over and calling and begging her for another chance. He told me tonight that his life is over so he is going to join the Marine Corp and die before he is 30. I thought we dykes had drama, it seems like nothing compared to the high school drama at my house. Any who the daughter has decided that she is going to be single until she gets through basic training in 2 years. If i can get that lucky i will thank the goddess. On a happy note she ran today in the pouring down rain and had a great finish and put up a great time for the weather. there is no way i would have been able to run 3.2 miles in the mud and rain. We are very proud of her everytime she crosses the finish line!!!!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

FML update

I am on vacation this week and haven't heard anything from work, well from the boss anyway. My girls call me everyday. I have decided that I am going to take everyones advice and get my ducks in a row and get ready to go back to school!

Monday, September 21, 2009


I have worked for the same company for the last 10 years, I have worked in several different positions for this company, I have made them lots of money, and now I am pretty sure that I am going to be fired. At closing the other night a woman reached into my cash drawer and stole $ 40. I have the bitch on tape and I have her name and cell number. I followed all the procedures that the company says to follow now it's Monday and it looks like my regional is saying it was gross neglect on my part. So as I sit writing this I am faced with what to do? do I try and fight for a job I am very good at but also very tired of. Do I let them fire me and move on. I have been wanting to go back to school for sometime and just haven't taken the step. I can go to school tuition free. I have applied for finical aid and have been offered more than enough to make ends meet. I am just frustrated and angry and confused. I know that if I lose my job i will be forced to push my side business harder. I just feel like I am drifting and don't know where to go or what to do. I am trying to look at this as a sign that it's time for change but who knows. I do know that I am going to be OK my kids are safe and loved we have a home and food and I know that all will work out in the end. thanks for listening.

Monday, September 14, 2009


It is starting to get cool here in Ohio, I love this time of year. I love the cool evenings and the leaves as they start to change. I love the first fires in the fire place, just to keep the chill out. I love raking a big pile of leaves and jumping in with the kids. I love love love Halloween and the harvest moon. I love everything about this time of year. My birthday is coming and I will be 35 this year. It was about this time 6 years ago that I decided to officially end my marriage(which had been over for years) and live my life as I should. I met my wife not long after and came screaming out of the closet. As I get ready to celebrate this year it is really a celebration of many things. My coming out, my birthday, my family and this year. this year I feel like I have really grown into the person that I can be. I know that I will grow and change more but this year I have become so in tune with who I am and what I want that I am glad it's a milestone birthday. I want to celebrate and be happy, I am at peace with myself and I think that has a lot to do with this wonderful community that I have found.the support and understanding that I get is amazing. so as I get ready to celebrate all that is good and right with my life I want to say thank you to you all for all that you do.

Friday, September 11, 2009

loving my baby

I wrote an article for the gay news here locally about butch/femme relationships. Now at our house we don't have roles that we play but we are the typical looking butch/femme couple. I have said it here before and I will say it over and over I love butch women. So I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes.
I love butch girls. Girls with slick, shiny, barbershop haircuts, trimmed so short your fingertips can barely grip it. Girls with shirts that button the other way. Girls that swagger... Girls who get stared at in the ladies' room, girls who shop in the boys department, girls who live every moment looking like they weren't supposed to. Girls with hands that touch me like they have been exploring my body their entire lives... It is the girls that get called sir every day who make me catch my breath, the girls with strong jaws who buckle my knees, the girls who are a different gender who make me want to lay down for them. - Tristan Taormino

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

my baby back in the day

So this is how my baby rolled back in the day. ( she is so going to kill me) hahaha

Thursday, September 3, 2009

this is how we roll

so this is how we spend a quiet night at home all of us on the couch with a netfix movie going on both computers. tonights feature Mrs doubtfire. on Sunday we watched Clash of the titans. hope you all are having a relaxing evening.

Oh and K went to run for cross country practice and fell down a hill so I spent the evening in the ER she has a sprained knee and ankle and is on crutches for a week. she is also quite pissy because they told her no running, oh well such is life.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

ohhh what a weekend

The wife and I went out for the weekend to a women's music festival. It was one of the coolest weekends we have had for awhile. We heard lots of great bands, I had my first ever jello shot and we made new friends. Oh and we networked a bunch for work.
I also drunk dialed propane amy the first night and got drunk dialed by Dawg the second.We had lots and lots of fun.I needed this weekend after all the we have been going through with the kids and their situation. It was nice to get away and recharge the batteries. I am now ready for many more weekends full of cross country meets and parent stuff. I will leave you with some pics. (many more to come)The festival this weekend was in a club that use to be a bank. I have never been to a club where you walk through the vault just to find the potty. The wife had to ham it up a bit. The lovely lady in the purple bandanna was our host for the the weekend. As you can see she had her arms full.

This is the band Odd Girl Out from the Baltimore area,they rock. I developed quite a crush on the lead guitar player Selena.

This picture is for nannykaitlinn. girl if you figure out what this stands for I'll give you a dollar!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Amy tagged me...

So my buttercup amy @ propaneamy has tagged me, lets see if I can do this.

How it works... fill in your own answers and then pass it on to four bloggers of your choice.

1. Who is the hottest Movie Star?
Angelina no doubt

2. Apart from your house and car, what is the most expensive item you have ever bought?
hmmm camera's and the one I want costs more than my last car... It will have to wait.

3. What is your most treasured memory?
This will be tuff, but it would have to be from when I was little and my mom took my cousin and I on a hike in the woods. we got lost but I knew it was ok because my mom was there. we got home about 4 hours after we left. it was great

4. What was the best gift you ever received as a child?
My first camera. It helped me see the world in a whole new way.

5. What is the biggest mistake you have ever made?
I don't make mistakes... they are all life lessons that have gotten me where I am today.

6. 4 words to describe yourself?

7. What was your highlight or low light of 2009?
Low Light: can't think of one it was a good year

High Light: getting the house sided it was a work in progress for far to long

8. Favorite Film?
what dreams may come, and don't laugh A knights tale is my all time fave.

9. Tell me one thing I don’t know about you.
I am a list everything requires a list.

10. If you were a comic book/strip or cartoon character, who would you be?
shhh don't tell but I am Wonder woman!!!

So I tag

Dawg & miss Hottie


That makes 4 since I added hottie with Dawg! lol

Sunday, August 23, 2009

just a friendly reminder.

So today I had to fill out paperwork for the Air Force. It was paper work saying that I would be responsible for S if something happens and the wife is deployed or detained for a long period of time. Now I understand that this is a safe guard for the unmarried solider and the child in question. However it just makes me mad that the wife and I consider ourselves married we consider S to be our but we are not, and he isn't mine. It makes me a bit sad to have to sign a paper that say I will care for my son until permanent custody can be established. I know that this is not anything that the wife has asked for. It is just one more way we are reminded that we are not treated equal. I do know that I am still super proud of the wife. I don't know if I would be able to serve in an organization that didn't like me for who I am. I do know that I will support her because this is what she wants to do. It was what she would still be doing if she hadn't gotten pregnant with S. It is who she is and it is the person I fell in love with. Besides she looks great in cammies.

Friday, August 21, 2009

chasing rainbows

So this has been a crazy week here at home. We started the week off with a long talk to the kids father and both kids telling him they don't want to be there. It has gone well and both kids are much more relaxed this week. Wednesday the wife saw the recruiter and enlisted in the Air Force reserves. She is officially sworn in on October 10th. So we are once again an Air Force family. I am excited and scared and proud all at once. The kids start school next week and then the chaos really begins.
We had a great storm last night and when it was over we went looking for stuff to photograph. We found lots of clouds and then we saw it. a perfect double rainbow. this made me think of the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I have found my gold in this wonderful group of ladies that are refocksa. Even though this week was crazy I knew that at the end of the day there would be someone who understands what's going on. Someone to listen and someone with kind words of encouragement. So to you all I say thank you for being my pot of gold.

Honest Scrap

Dawg awarded me with this Honest Scrap Award.

There are three rules for this award:
First, link back to the person who gave you the award (see above)
Next, give the award to 10 other bloggers.

1 Propaneamy Any one who wears a human condom is ok with me! no seriously love ya Ames

2 Jude at 7sences I want to shoot like she does!

3 Lilliegirl: She has more Patience than 10of me.

4 unlawfully wedded wife. She was one of my first blogger buddies!

5 KimberP at I know right. she is a fellow buckeye and has a heart of gold

6 Tina from tina-cious.com she is a fellow feisty femme

7 holden from packing vocals. for helping me understand the wife a little more.

8 Solo at Solohomo. She makes great vids!!

9 ok so I was going to tag dragon and rocket but they got tagged.

Second part of this is to tell 10 things about me

1 I love to read and can burn through books like they are water.

2 I use to work as a phlebotomist and now the thought of needles makes me feel yucky

3 I have given up on trying to look the part of a lesbian. I am what I am no matter how I look.

4 My wife is very excited about #3,but she did have fun laughing at me for trying to look butch.

5 I love to shoot pictures and don't ever leave home without a camera or two.

6 I have more shoes than I will ever wear and I know it. ( don't tell the wife I know)

7 I love hockey GO BLUE JACKETS!

8 I want to run my first 5k this year.

9 I love eminem thanks to the wife.

10 I use to be a beauty queen. NO COMMENTS!

ok So my links aren't working. who knows.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

kido update

So we saw the father today and the kids stood thier ground. told him that they didn't want to be at his house. they both told him that they want to see him but not at his house. My nine year old looked his father dead in the eye and told him he didn't want to come back to his house ever. I know that it is what they say they want, but it breaks my heart to know that they are this frustrated. we came home and thier father had called and left them a message telling them how much he loved them and missed them. Now mind you I can count on one hand how many times he has called them in the last year. All I can do now is let thme know how loved they are here. We have one week before school starts and I have one more fun outing planned for them. So keep your fingers crossed for us all that this continues to be ok.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

welcome to the family Buster

As promised pics of our newest family member. May I introduce Buster Brown. No we had no plans for a new puppy but you know how it is when you fall in love. The kids love him and as you can tell he feels right at home. As I blog this E is now laying down and Buster is laying across him. E said he thinks he found his buddy. The weimaraner loves him, thinks he's a new toy. Now if princess Oki our wiener dog would just decide to like him all would be well.

Troubled children

I know that I have talked about my oldest 2 kids not liking to be with their father before and I have at times thought that it would be better for our family if they didn't have to go so much, but then I also want them to have a relationship with him, so it has been kind of a catch 22. He use to be a great dad, then we split and he is one of those men that cant be alone and has made some choices that may be good for him but not so good for the kids. He has remarried and now has a step son that is 2 yrs younger than E. From what the kids say this boy has major behavior issues and is the major reason they don't like going to their dads. I have always just let them rant and reassured them that we love them. Well this weekend they came home from a week long stay with dad, and K told us that this boy touches himself in front of them ALL the time. They have told their father and he tells them to ignore him. Now I know that little boys get fascinated with their boy parts, and we have always told E that this is normal and if he need or wants to touch himself it's a private thing not to be done in front of others. I guess K has even looked up to see this boy touching himself and while staring at her and smiling. To write this gives me the creeps. Anyway, I am deeply troubled by this and the kids say it's so bad they don't want to be around him. I know if I say anything to the ex or the new wife they will blow it off and blame my kids. I have talked to a few people I know in the system and have found out that there is really nothing I can do legally because they haven't been physically harmed. It sucks to think that I am going to have to fight to keep them away from this. I have searched my mommy handbook and can't find this chapter anywhere. I am open to suggestions.

Monday, August 10, 2009

crazy monday

So today was a long ass day with conference calls on both ends of it but then I got to come home to a great sunset after a great storm!It made the yucky day better that's for sure.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

family pics

So no this is not my family but it is a picture that I took of one of the nicest families that I know. I have taken pics of the little boy since he was born. Actually I have taken pics for this family since before there were kids in the family. They are one of the nicest families that I have ever worked with. They are so special to me that I rushed to the studio to take the little guys Christmas pics just and hour after our insemination for S. They were also the first of my clients that I came out to. I guess that is why they are so special. I got a hug and was told they hoped I was happy. They always ask about the wife and kids and are just great great people to be around. I just wanted to share this beautiful family.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

I made it!

So today at work I had visitors. My district manager and my regional manager came to spend the day. I love my dm she is a great lady and an awesome photographer. My rm is a very professional man who doesn't even own a digital camera. So my dm was at work when I got there and we talked over coffee. The big guy got there about an hour later. He proceeded to tell me that I need to be better at the paperwork aspect of my job. I should say, I already know this. I am all about the creative part of my job. I think that getting that perfect smile from the little ones is what it's all about. I get the paperwork done but maybe not with all the i's dotted and the t's crossed just right. I do however make a tidy profit for my company. So the day wasn't as bad as it could have been, I am still employed and that is good since I have a wife and kids to feed. I am now sitting here drinking a bloody Mary and watching myth busters with the wife. I love the decompressing part of a stressful day!!!!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

weekend update

So I got to keep the kids an extra 12 hours today which was a great surprise. I love when that happens, so do they. I guess that their father had to work his in laws french fry stand today so he couldn't come get them this morning, ohh darn. So the wife and I had the chance to fix a lazy breakfast for them and we re-watched the movie Coraline. It was great,and even if you don't have kids I recommend it. I however love Tim Burton so I may be biased. The two older kids could both sing every song to the Nightmare before Christmas by the time they were 3.

Later in the day we went and took baby bump pictures for a friend of ours and I got my hair cut, and I love it. I have been struggling with letting it grow out some. I will never have long hair again but I had been keepingit cut pretty short and spiky so I think I want something a little longer, maybe a chin length bob, maybe not. then the wife and I decided to be handy and fix our roof. we Had a spot that needed a couple of shingles replaced so we did that this evening while the kids played in the yard. All I really did was sit there and offer moral support and as you can see from the picture( a very bad fuzzy picture) we had a little wiener help. then it was off to take the kids to their dad. so the wife S and I are home now trying to watch a movie. The movie push is not keeping my attention. We have stopped it for ice cream sundaes, slugs on the porch and laundry. I think maybe we should watch Coraline again. I am looking forward to the next couple weeks, then the kids go back to school and the crazy time starts.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

My wife,changes might be on the way

I'm not sure what all I have shared about the wife other than that she is the love of my life and sexy as hell. She is also ex-military. She was in the Air force when we met and only got out when we got pregnant for our son. She misses the Air force, I know that she does. We have always talked about her going back if don't ask don't tell went away. well today she decided that the air force reserve might be the way to go. She is going to talk to the recruiter next week and see what they have to offer her. I am excited and worried and excited for her. I know that this would mean big changes for our family and as much as I don't want to have her in the closet I know that she will only be doing this on a part time basis so I can live with it. This is away for her to further her education and when don't ask don't tell goes away we can be the military family that we should have been all along. So keep us in your thoughts, big changes might happen soon

Sunday, July 26, 2009

sunday off!

So I have had the last couple sundays off and I have the next couple off. I am suspose to work every other sunday but it has been working so my girls that work with me can only work on the weekends, poor me. So we loaded up the kids and went to the water park with my mother in law and the wifes' nieces. The weather was questionable early on so the park wasn't crowded at all.

we had a good day the weather was great, I got lots of sun,the mother in law and I didn't fight. the kids had fun and isn't that the point. hope you all are enjoying your summer, we are having a great easy laid back summer i don't even want to think about it ending.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

lessons learned

So I have never posted much about my health but I am severely anemic. I haven't even seen the low end of normal forever. I hit normal after 3or 4 units of blood or 5 or 6 iv iron treatments but that never lasts. I have a heavy duty iron pill that I am suppose to take .... but I don't. They make me sick to my stomach and they make me hungry all the time. Figure that one out. however since my last Dr visit and the news that I am dropping faster than normal I have started taking the meds as I should and doing the stupid b12 shots each week. So went in yesterday to have levels drawn and the doc is prepping me for my next round of iv therapy. He says that this time we will do iv iron and 4 units of blood. He would set me up me up with a central line so they wouldn't have to stick me all the time. blah blah blah... So I am sure that he must see something that I don't I assume he knows what's going on. I left and went to work to look into the short term disability and what not. I like to have all my ducks in a row so I know what's going on with life. Anyway I get a call this morning from the nurse ......My levels are up in low range of normal. you could have knocked me over with a feather. I am so happy! I guess the meds do work IF you take them like you should. who would have known. OK so lesson learned

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

lazy days of summer

I love it when I get two days in a row off. Last night the wife and I went out for date night. We went to the 12:02 show of the new harry potter movie. I thought it left a bunch out but since she hasn't read the books she thought it was good. Then we slept in late today and went to the water park with the kids. The day at the water park was good. I got to see my boys grow up a bit today. E had to take a swim test before he was allowed to go down the big slides, he almost gave up and decided he didn't want to but the big slides looked like to much fun and he jumped in and did the test and passed with flying colors. S wasn't sure about the water when we first got there but with a bit of coaxing he finally was in the water and having a ball. I was great to watch him concur that fear and enjoy himself. K has changed so much this summer. Getting away from the awful boy of last summer has done her so much good, she is once again a happy teen girl. Now we are all home a little burnt and very worn out going to settle in and watch a movie and eat popcorn,and I am off again tomorrow!!! enjoy

Saturday, July 11, 2009

I want to be one of the cool kids

Change all the answers so that they apply to you. Have fun and be truthful
1 What is your occupation right now? photographer!
2. What color are your socks right now? no sock it's summer
3. What are you listening to right now? the wiggles
4. What was the last thing that you ate? pork chops the wife fixed for dinner
5. Can you drive a stick shift? yep
6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? the wife
7. Do you like the person who sent this to you? I copied it so sure
.8. How old are you today? 34
9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV? hockey go blue jackets
10. What is your favorite drink? espresso
12. Favorite food? seafood
13. What is the last movie you watched? Little shop of horrors
14. Favorite day of the year? christmas morning
15. How do you vent anger? I swear and throw things
16. What was your favorite toy as a child? my bike
17. What is your favorite season? fall
18. Cherries or Blueberries? both
19. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? duh
20. Who is the most likely to respond? I think everyone has done it
21. Who is least likely to respond? dawg
22. Living arrangements? 1 partner, 1 weiner dogs, 1 weimeraner 3 kids and 3 outside cats
23. When was the last time you cried? not sure
24. What is on the floor of your closet? way to many purses
25. Who is the friend you have had the longest? tara
26. What did you do last night? vegged with the wife
27. What are you most afraid of? spiders stupid little things
28. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers? Cheese..i'm going plain never had a spicy hamburger
29. Favorite dog breed? weiner and weimeraner
30. Favorite day of the week? any day all my kids are home
31. How many states have you lived in? 1
32. Diamonds or pearls? diamonds
33. What are your favorite flowers?

Thursday, July 9, 2009

evening stroll.

So the wife and I decided, well I decided the wife and S would accompany me on my walk this evening since I missed the gym this morning. we live about 2 miles from the local state park in pretty much the middle of n0where. So we get S in the stroller and get to the end of our driveway and start up the hill when I hear a cat meowing. I look back and here comes K's cat. this cat is 12 years old and started life out as a stray. It has been with us since K was in preschool. It's a nice outside cat. K and this cat are always together when K is outside, the cat acts more like a dog a lot of the time. Anyway I told the wife that she needed to get the cat so it didn't get hit by a car. She grabbed the cat and I told her she would have to carry it since I'm allergic. She just smiled at me at plops the cat down on the canopy of the stroller. Now get this the stupid cat laid down and went to sleep. I kid you not. Well we had walked about a half mile from the house when the cat jumps down and heads to a tree. I start screaming for it and the wife keeps walking she said she wasn't chasing the stupid cat. I said fine if she is gone when K gets home you can explain. So we kept walking and about 45 Min's later we come back to this spot and there sits the stupid cat. She looks at us like where have you been I would like to go home. So the wife scoops her up put her back on the stroller and off we go. this time the cat just sits there like she owns the world. I couldn't believe it. I told the wife well I guess this gives new meaning to walking the Pu$$y.

Monday, July 6, 2009

introducing S, not a baby anymore

just thought I would share some pics from yesterdays shoot. I took him out to a little park and he had fun playing with a squirrel. He has gotten so big, I think I'm going to miss my baby, now that he is growing up. Now If I could just get him to go to the potty alllll the time we may be on to something.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

oh what a day

So today Baby S turns 3 I guess that means that I have to stop refering to him as baby S. I can't believe that he is 3 it seems like just yesterday that we were looking for donors and planning on having a little one. It will be a low key day since we had his party earlier in the week since the older 2 are at their fathers today. Speaking of the other two I think I am going to have to be heading back to court, I sent my middle man to his father in tears today. It breaks my heart that he has to go when doesn't want to. He asked his father today if he could just stay home and of course he said no. this sent E into tears and sobs. I can't imagine telling him he had to come with me if he didn't want to. I mean I know it would break my heart to hear that come from him but I think that I could be strong enough to do what is best for him or at the least what would make him happy. K told me she only goes so E has someone there that cares about him. Neither of them want to be there and I have avoided doing anything through the courts but I think that it maybe time to see what options they have. I never wanted to come between them and their father, but it seems that for all my good intentions he has managed to alienate them himself. I know that the reason I have put this off for so long is because I don't want the court battle that I know will follow. I know he will pull the gay card and even though I know that it shouldn't have any bearing on our case I always worry that it will. That and the fact that I don't like having to explain myself or my "lifestyle" again and again and again. Oh well I know that I am just feeling sorry for myself, I guess sending your child off in tears will do that, but I can't let the day be ruined. S turns 3 today and so I will cuddle him and we shall play, we will watch kipper and blue and I will get through this just like I always do with the love of my life beside me supporting me and our children no matter what. have a great day

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Happy 4th

I hope that you have all had a wonderful and safe holiday. Our day started a little before 6am and we just got in at 11:30 pm. It was a long but fun day. the wife and I went with E's baseball team to a Cincinnati reds vs St Louis cardinals game today. We got to take 11 little boys to a game and on the way they called and offered to upgrade our seats to the club level seats for 3 bucks per kid. This meant that the boys got to eat and drink all the food and ice cream they wanted. The boys loved it and they put away lots of food. They got to see themselves on the big screen and they got to see their team name on the jumbo screen. they were very well behaved and we couldn't have asked for a better group of kids to be with. we drove to Cincinnati with some of the other mom and the wife and I got treated just like one of the team. We had a great time. then we hurried home packed up the other 2 kids and headed to the local fireworks display. baby s loved them. He sang twinkle twinkle little star. So now I am off to bed to sleep i hope and then tomorrow my baby will officially be 3 and we will have another busy day.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

summer time

So it is summer and all of my kids are back at home for the week. E had been with his father for 16 days k had been there for a week and they were both ready to come home. E went on vacation to the beach with his dad and didn't have much fun. It took him 10 mins to get in the car and then he cried when they left. I hate that he is forced to go but at the same time I think he should be exposed to his father some. I think it makes him appreciate us that much more. He says all the time his dad is a redneck and he hates to have to act like that. He cracks me up. He is so not into dirt or getting dirty. his father likes to fish and hunt and that is sooo not my little man. but any whooo they are home and and we have plans to hangout camp make smores catch lightning bugs, and just enjoy each other and the nice weather. hope you all have plans for a nice relaxing summer week.

Friday, June 19, 2009

teenage idiots.

So I don't remember if I have blogged about our 16 yr olds boyfriend or not but he is officially an ex now thank the goddess. The wife and I went today to get new piercings (pics later) when we came home the daughter was in a tizzy, the ex had hacked her myspace and changed her status telling everyone that she herself thought that she was a slut and that she had perfectionist lesbian mothers who no one would be good enough for. well it is true we are lesbians and I am damn near perfect but she is not a slut and i now am looking at her and thinking is she safe is there anything that this boy is going to be able to do to her that will make her life harder. I would hate very much to have to hurt this very selfish , self centered boy. She did however learn a very valuable lesson....... wait for it.... MOM IS ALWAYS RIGHT! yep she admitted that I was right. We went to dinner with the new guy she is talking too tonight and I know that is just a teenager and that this boy will go away at some point but he did something tonight that I will forever be grateful for. He brought my daughters smile back, and I have missed it so much.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

way to go Ohio

So I just received word that House bill 176 has officially passed the first round of voting in the house. This is a historic moment for Ohio, never before has legislation regarding gays and equal housing and employment made it through committee. Even better it is expected to go to the full senate as early as next week. When I got involved with Equality Ohio this year I never expected to be sitting here telling others that change would come this quickly to Ohio. I am proud to know that my state Rep Debbie Phillips is behind this bill and I feel even better knowing that I helped put a person in office that will vote the way that I would if I got to vote for the good of all Ohioans. I am so excited and hopeful right now it almost takes the sting out of the frustration that I feel with the white house, but that is another blog.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

one of the team

E plays little league baseball here in town, this is his second year. last year his coach was a guy that I knew from high school he is a great guy who has a son E's age. The team was great with our family and we never had any issues. Long story shorter, the guy decided not to coach this year, and the wife and I and E were all a bit afraid of what would happen. We got to E's first practice and here came last years coach on his motorcycle, we were so Glad that at least E would have a friend on the team. Well the man parked his bike and walked up to us he was helping out with the team. I have never been happier to see a man in my life. So the year is about up and the wife and I have had a great time with the other parents,and the kids have been great. they are all super to E and to us. we got the best compliment when E started getting play dates and sleepover invites. We even got invited to go out with the parents one night. Sometimes it's nice to just be one of the team.

Monday, June 8, 2009

weekend in Detroit

The wife and I drove to Detroit this weekend for one of her best friends weddings. We had a blast on the way up. Yes this is a two tone purple Victorian and just down the street was the bear sign. I guess you have to love small town America.

The wife and I got all dressed up for our very first formal catholic wedding.It was a beautiful ceremony however it was in a national Catholic shrine and they had random people walking around the chapel during there mass. The reception was wonderful, the wife's friend does ballroom dancing and he and some of his dance buddies did a wonderful tribute to his late father. It was extremely neat to watch. The wife and I danced the night away and had a great time talking with all her friends. The funniest part of the night came when one of the bridesmaids thought I was trying to cut in on her getting to know the wife's friend Mr Utah. She made sure we knew she had dibs on him LOL . We are now home getting ready for a baseball game. E's team is in first place!!!! have a great week

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

sexy as hell

So the idea for this blog came from Jude. She had posted about femmes, and how she loved them. So I thought I would share my love for the sexy butches of the world. The butch below happens to be my lovely wife. This was from the first shoot I ever talked her into. I love the energy that comes from these pics, it is that butch energy and the butch attitude that just make me swoon.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

schools is almost out!

So school is out for the kids next Wednesday. It's so dumb they are making up snow days so all they are doing is sitting at school watching movies and playing games. k found out the she is going to need to attend summer school to make up for the biology class that she did do so well in. I called her father to inform him that she would need to go to summer school and he told me she would not be attending summer school, she would be going on vacation with him because he has already paid for it. Ummm hello if she doesn't make up this credit she doesn't graduate with her class. Now I know that this is her responsibility and that she messed up but come on the beach will be there for years to come and she is only in school once. So I go to the school tomorrow to find out if this is a mandatory thing that they can help me out with. Wish me luck... E gave his first oral presentation this week to his second grade class. It was cute, we sculpted a cardinal out of clay for him to use as his visual aid. baby S had his end of the year program at daycare today his class was suppose to sing 3 songs and let me tell you all 6 kids stood up there just fine and the teacher has a great voice. Not one of the kids sang a note. The wife has finals in two weeks . Now if I just got the summer off it would be a great vacation but alas I still have to work. I will shorten the weeks and take more time off for the summer we have several mini vacations planned. I can't wait to go camping (RV) with my parents. It will be fun to watch the kids and the grandparents together. So that's what's happening here is smalltowndykeville.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Mac is back

So my asshole neighbor took my dog to the pound! The wife went and got him this morning. The man at the pound was nice and didn't give us a ticket. She explained to him what was going on and they told us they would do what they could to help us. I would like to just hurt the neighbor but I guess that wouldn't help.All in all it's been ok Mac is home and that is all that matters.

Friday, May 22, 2009

ASSHOLE neighbor

For the second time is a week my asshole neighbor has taken my dog. I should explain I have 42 acres with about a mile of road bordering it on one side. My wiemeranor will patrol the length of our property and come home. he stays on our land unless someone offers him a car ride. Our ass of a neighbor had figured this out and has now stopped twice and taken him down the road. I can't prove this because no one has seen it but us, so it's his word against ours. Now my dog is gone and we can't find him I am one pissed off DYKE . Wish me luck !

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

do ask do tell

I am sure that most of you have seen this video by now but I felt it was worth posting. I think that it is sad that so many brave Americans are losing their jobs . In this economy you would think that we would do all we can to keep all Americans working. I guess it just goes to show you that not all Americans can be expect the same freedoms even brave lesbian and gay soldiers fight for. This issue is close to my heart. The wife is former Air Force and she got out when she got pregnant for our son. She had many commendations and achievement medals. She was very good at her job, and more than that she enjoyed it. I also enjoyed being part of her unit family. I had the opportunity to make some very great friends. It always surprised me that she was as out as she was with the unit. They all new about us, they all excepted us as a family and the fact that the wife was gay was never and issue. It just seems crazy that she had to chose to get out before she was kicked out. All we can hope is that this backward policy will be gone soon.

Friday, May 15, 2009

house bill 176

I spent yesterday with the group Equality Ohio. Myself and close to 400 other LGBT people wherein Columbus to lobby for Equality. It was an amazing experience that has really opened my eyes. I was surprised that only 3 of the representatives/senators refused our calls outright, and only a handful did not call back. I was saddened that one of the no call backs was my own senator Jimmy Stewart. In the 3 meetings that I did attend I met one very receptive republican from Zanesville named Troy Balderson. We met several aides and lots of interesting people. The entire experience was fun exciting and has defiantly made me think I would like to be more involved in lobbying and whatnot. I had a great day. Now to the title….. On Tuesday senator Dan Stewart and 25 co sponsors introduced House bill 176.This is Ohio’s Equal housing and employment act. There are 2 republican co sponsors and the numbers look good and the chances of this bill passing the house are great. I spoke personally with Representative Stewart and his words were we will get this passed this year. I find that kind of passion about an issue refreshing even for a politician. I know this has rambled and if your still with me I apologize it’s been a long exhausting day.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

1000+ photos today!!

So the wife and I shot a wedding today and took 938 pictures. Then we raced home to take pics of the daughter for prom. She is amazingly beautiful, I think I'll keep her.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Gallery opening!!!

Last night was the opening of one of my great friends photography galleries. She had asked the wife and I if we would like to display our work in her gallery and of course we said yes. It has been a crazy week deciding what we wanted to represent our work. We shoot weddings,senior pics and other special events, but my favorite subject to shoot is butch women. I love to try and capture that amazing butch energy.
We finally settled on about 20 prints and got our wall set. Last night was great fun to get to dress up and mingle with adults enjoy good wine and music. We even got a quick job out of the evening. The wife went and shot pics of a lady getting a tattoo. It was a 10 min job and she made a quick 50 bucks. It was a great evening and I am so happy for my friend. She deserves this so much.