butch/femme

So this blog has always been a place for me to explore myself as a dyke. I use that term to encompass the whole of who I am. With this term I have always felt comfortable I have never let it be used against me as a negative. I have always thought that by claiming it as my own I took all the negativity out of it. I had never thought of the term Dyke as a term that could define a persons gender. I was told recently that I couldn't call myself a dyke because I was femme. UMMM excuse me I am a dyke what does my choice of clothing have to do with how I define myself.
It has gotten me to thinking that the L in the GLBT community seems to put a lot of emphasis on what the other members of our community wear. It seems unfair to me that we judge others by what they wear or how they feel comfortable.I know that in our house I am the one that wears the heels and the makeup, and my wife is much more relaxed and laid back in her jeans,and T's. I also know that when I first came out I wanted so much to have people look at me and just know that I was a lesbian that I tried to "butch up" my look and all that accomplished was me looking funny. I am a femme at times a high femme. I love to have my door opened, my chair pulled out and to be spoiled by my partner. In contrast my partner tells me that she loves to do these things for me. Its not that I can't do them for myself but it is nice to have her do them for me, to make me feel extra special. It wasn't until I found Sinclair Sexsmiths blog Sugarbutch cronicles that I found my niche and felt 100% comfortable with who I was. He has a way of writing about the butch femme dynamic that just hits home with me. I felt the respect and admiration for the femme in his blog and new that even though the wife and I do not necessarily prescribe to the total butch femme role play it's OK that I am attracted to and love butch women and vice versa. I have found several other butch/femme blogs and relationships through this blog and I value the understanding and camaraderie that I feel with these others. I think that it is time that we as a whole just let go and understand that we are all women who love women. No mater if they are ultra high femme in there heels and stockings or stone butch in there flannel and mullets, or they fall in the vast space somewhere in between. We all have so much more in common than we think and we just need get over labels and stereotypes. thanks for listening hope some of this made sense.