is this really still happening?

As many of you know there has been a substantial amount of drama in my life as of late. In the last year I have come clean about an affair and I thought that we had put the entire thing behind us, this was only partly true, we still had somethings to talk through and in the last two weeks we have come to a new understanding and place in our relationship.I am confident that my marriage will be just fine and we will move on from here. my marital drama my be over but in it's place is now bloggy drama. I'm sure many of you are familiar with DawgDyke. She had an amazing blog that made me smile. She has quit blogging and I hope that someday she is able to start again, but that is not the point of this blog. I will say that away from blogland and twitter Renee has become my friend. When i thought my world was coming to an end she was there for me, she let me cry, she let me rant she just listened. As her readers know she too has had a fair amount of drama in her life as of late. I hope that I have been as helpful to her as she has been to me. with all that said we are just friends no more no less. I have no plans to be with her no thoughts that we should ever be together. I just don't see her like that. She is an amazing woman but we are way too much alike in so many ways that it would not even be possible. I am putting all of this out there because it has come to my attention that some of you are being told that Renee and I are interested in each other or even that we are an item. I think this is happening because when things end someone needs to be blamed. As I have said already I have had way to much of this High school type drama in my life I want it to end so that I can once again get the positive flow of energy in my life going. I will say physical violence is no way to end anything, people come and go from our lives all the time but violence should never be there. I think it is beyond time to act like the adults we are, if you have something to say to me all I can say is Bring It, I know where I stand and who has my back
Shelly

Life choices

So i am going to start this post my saying that i know that we are all human and that we all make mistakes. The point is that I made a huge mistake,well i have been making a huge mistake. i chose to have an affair, now I say i chose to but i don't think that it was a conscious decision but i know that I allowed it to happen. This affair started as a simple flirting situation, that grew into a fling that grew into the biggest mistake of my life. I met this person on threw my job and because she and I worked fairly close to one another it was easy to flirt and she was such a talker that she soon ha me feeling all special and kind of like a kid again. Now I guess I should say that she also had a girlfriend that also works in the same building. i think at first this added tot the fun for me it was kind of like a big secret would we get caught flirting would she notice how her girl went out of her way t fin a reason to even walk into my department. Well about a week before my birthday I mentioned that i wanted to go out for my birthday. she jumped all over this and we decided to go out on a double date. here is where all the trouble really started. We exchanged phone numbers and then all hell broke loose. we started to text and we flirted more threw texts we texted at least 50 times a day and then we started to talk on the phone. all this in a weeks time. Well we decided to meet outside of work and one thing led to another and next thing i know I'm kissing her in my car. We all still went out that weekend and i was fun till she got way to drunk and her girl got mad. that night I spent 2 hours holding her head while she puked he guts out. My wife talked to the girlfriend for that whole time and we found out that they had major problems. Long story shorter we ended up befriending them to the point that my wife invited my new fling to move in with us....AND SHE DID. this was a move that both made the affair easier and my life much more complicated. Needless to say i got caught. My wife was devastated and hurt and for awhile I thought she was going to take baby S and leave me . She didn't THANK THE GODDESS.
but now to the point of this blog..... I let a hormonal Surge almost ruin my life, the attention that this girl showed me was in no way worth losing my wife and family over. I have since found out that this girl played me, she promised me the moon and there is no way that she could have delivered it. Not that I wanted her to I never had any intentions of leaving my wife, this was just a flirtatious adventure that got way out of hand. I think part of it was that she is 8 years younger than I am and her girlfriend is only 22 and she still wanted me. I was in heaven with the special treatment she gave me opening doors, putting on my jacket, little gifts and all that. all the things my wife use to do before babyS came along and she went back to school. I missed it, i wont lie. BUT i know that this is not worth loosing the love of my life over. She has agreed to stay and says she forgives me. I know that i have a lot of work to do to prove to her that I can be trusted and that she should even want to stay amazes me. She tells me that she knows i am only human and that we all make mistakes. i thank the Goddess that she didn't leave me and I know that I will do All that is in my power to make this up to her. If your still reading this wish me luck!! Iguess the moral of this little tale is never forget what you have at home is what you really want and need or it wouldn't be what was at home in the first place.

from slow sunday to CRAZY monday!

So we had a wonderful dinner on Sunday, we took one of our best friends Tara out to dinner at the kids favorite restaurant, we shopped for a bit and then went home. The wife had to work so as she was getting ready to go she kissed baby S goodnight and told me he felt warm. I gave him some Tylenol and we went to bed. He is cutting 4 teeth, only thing that is going on with him right now, no cold no nothing, so i figure it's just the teeth. Well he was a bit fussy all night not really awake just restless, so he still felt hot and i gave him some more medicine. at 6:58 am he woke me shaking or so i thought he was having a seizure, if you have never seen this it is the most terrifying thing to see your child shake and be unresponsive and his lips were blue. i ran to the bathroom with him thinking bring the fever down, i know i wasn't in my right mind but i thought about jumping in a cold shower with him. I am screaming for my 14 yr old to come because i need her, not sure why but i didn't want to be alone. She comes in and panics (like mother like daughter) I finally call the Dr's answering service and she tells Me they open in 45 Mins. My son is having a seizure and she wants me to wait BI#$% i gave her my info and told her to have the Dr call me. Meanwhile i call the wife and she is not picking up, so she calls back about 2 Mins later as the answering service beeps in and i manage to yell at the wife get your ass home baby S is having a seizure. So K gets me some clothes So i don't have to go to the er in my nightgown and she finds my shoes and as the wife pulls in baby s and i get in the car. we go to the hospital and he wakes up finally! The nurses were great 2 mommies was not an issue(yet) we got pedialite in him and some medicine for his 103.6 temp then we see the Dr an old man who we could tell did not approve of us. No big deal not everyone has to like us. He tells us the blood work is good and the urine is good and that this just happened, go home and watch him. WTF hello why did this happen why the fever, is it going to happen again????? the man had NO clue. So we left, came home and called our regular pediatrician and went to see him last night. I told him all of our concerns and what was going on and he told us baby S may have roseolla, which caused his seisure and the chances of it happening again are 1-2% . Wheww. Now today you would never know that this baby had anything wrong. no fever no nothing back to a happy gigglely baby, who knows, i'm just glad he's ok.
later
s