Wednesday, April 29, 2009

define family

I was reminded the other day that as a gay person my family is just a little different than other families. The wife called to make dentist appointments for two of our children. She had all the info she needed insurance, social security numbers, dates of birth. She was told that the biological mother or the legal guardian would have to be with the children for their first visit to sign paper work. She was then told she would not be able to bring the kids alone???? WTF she is there other mother or step-mother or whatever you want to call her. The receptionist said that since we were not legal that I would have to attend the appt. I know this should not be a big deal, but it is to me. I feel like I am being discriminated against. I think is sucks that any to straight people can get married and then they get to make decisions for each other’s kids yet my wife can’t. Don’t even get me started on the fact that I cannot make any decisions for our baby because I am not the bio mom or the adoptive mom. In the state of Ohio the only way I can adopt my son is if the wife give up her rights to him. Now tell me why that would make any sense. In this day and age when so many kids need loving homes why is it that the powers that be want to make it hard on gay families. God forbid if something happens to the wife, I would not be the next of kin for our child. I would have to petition the court for custody, and even though we have all the legal document that say I get custody and that I am the one the wife wants to raise our son if the courts decided that I was not the person they think should raise him they could take him from me. Any of the wife’s relatives would have a better chance of getting custody of my son than I would because they are related to him. Again tell me why it would make sense to take my son from the home he is in to place him with total strangers, It wouldn’t but most courts don’t see it that way. Now I know that the laws will change as people’s attitudes change and that someday we will live in a society where we are not judged by who we love, but explain to me why until that time we have to define family in a way that hurts the kids of loving families like mine.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

the red dress

So the first weekend in June the wife and I are attending her best friends wedding. It is a formal catholic wedding. The wife picked a dress for me to wear that she thought was cute and sexy. It's red low cut and very femme, 50's femme sexy. I am just hoping that I can pull this off. This is the first time that I will be meeting most of the people that the wife was in the Air Force with and I am excited! The little red dress is just one of my motivating factors for going to the gym every morning. Once the wedding is over I will have to find another motivator, but until then the dress is working just fine.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

the gym.

so the wife and I joined our local community center gym about three weeks ago. I have been working out 5or 6 times a week. I have to say that I love it!!!! I have gotten so adictted to the feeling I get after and hour in the tredmill an 30 mins with the weights that if I had the time I would probelby go twice a day. Now here is the funny part. I mentioned to my friend the other day that I loved going to the gym. I don't know what I expected from her , nothing really but the reaction that I got shocked me. She said well your just like K, taking time away from your kids just to workout. I just looked at her. I mean I go to the gym before work and it's while the kids are in school, or we all go to the gym and walk the indoor track toghether I don't take any time from my kids, and what if I did give myself 90 mins to get healty and in a good state of mind would that be so bad? I guess that I should consider the source of this comment it was from a friend that got mad at me when I decided to lose weight before and lost 150 pounds. I have since put about 50 back on and I want to get rid of it again so I guess she will be mad again, oh well I have to do what is good for me and my family not her. It just surprised me she was so willing to put me down for a good habit. It makes me wonder what she would say if I told her I was going to start smoking crack??

Friday, April 17, 2009

to all the men in my life.

My ex husband once told me that i would never be able to keep my house without a man. I laughed in his face but inside i wondered how I would do it. I should say that I have a 109 yr old farm house and 42 acres. I have a well that you have to fill from another well and we have a 200 yard driveway,complete with bridge. It's alot of work. Of our 46 acres about 4 is what we consider yard and we have about 20 that is considered pasture. We don't have a tractor for the pasture and all that goes with it instead we have a Mark. This is the first Man in my life. He keeps our pastures cut and looking nice. he weed eats the largest part of our lane and he plows the drive in the winter when it snows. he does all of this for us and doesn't charge us a dime, of course he gets to keep the hay from the fields but what would we do with it. He also has told us to never hesitate to call if anyone bothers us or gives us a hard time. I knew him when I was married to the ex but he never came around. My next man is Allen, he is an ex con who brings us firewood in the winter and cuts our grass in the summer. Now I no what your thinking ex cons and kids don't mix. Not the case here Allen is also an ex drunk who has done all 12 of his steps and that is how he makes his living. 80 bucks a month works for all of us.So to the ex I say I guess your right... without a man I may be lost but at least I don't have to have a man in my bed to keep my house.oh and just for the record the wife and I have done more to improve this house in the last 5 years than I ever thought would get done in the 10 the ex lived here.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

National day of silence

National day of silence
This Friday April 17th is the national day of silence. This is the biggest national event for middle and high school LGBT groups and their allies. I think that this is a good way for students to get involved in a way that is non confrontational and very visible. This year our 15 year old and some of her friends are going to participate. I have already looked up all the schools rules and regulations regarding the day, and while I can find no reason they shouldn’t be able to participate in the event I am sure that I will get a phone call on Friday. As I have said before we live in a small town and we have already been to the principal’s office once over HRC stickers. Apparently the daughter took some HRC stickers to school and passed a few out. Next thing you know she is in the principal’s office being accused of recruiting. It was not a good day here at home. I know that the school is only doing what they think is in the best interest of the students but come on give me a break. Our school sponsors meet me at the pole. For those of you who don’t know this is a day when kids meet at the flag pole to pray. Now I have no problem with this and think that the school should include diverse thinking, I just think they should be able to include the LGBT community in that thinking, if only for the handful of LGBTQ students that attend this school. So I have made sure that I have the day off from work so I can put out any fires that may arise at school. I’ll let you know how it goes. Have a great week

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Easter fun!

So the kiss pic is an Easter tradition with E and I. He is my middle man and I love him to pieces. We had a great day and wonderful dinner with my mom and my bob. It was nice to have them over.I think this is the first time in about 4 years that it hasn't rained or snowed on Easter!!! We enjoyed the sun and found lots of eggs. Hope everyone has a great week.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

home improvement update.

well the fine gentlemen that are putting the siding on our house have it about 2/3 done already. They tell me that if the weather is nice next week it will be done!!! I am so excited, we have been waiting on this for so long. Next comes a massive yard clean up then flowers!!!

Monday, April 6, 2009

3 years and counting!

So on Wednesday the wife and I will be officially commitment ceremonied to each other for 3 years. My question to the blog world is do I have to do those stupid traditional anniversary gifts or does the gay world get a pass on the lame gifts?? I hope we get a pass, because I got her a neat willow tree angel thing. I just love these things they have several that are of two women together. I am sure that they are suppose to be sister, friends, or mother daughter but they don't have those specific titles. So I just pretend they are whatever I need them to be. this anniversary we will be coloring Easter eggs because the older two go to there donor I mean fathers this weekend. They are both rather pissy about it. Oh yeah I forgot to tell ya all he is taking me back to court. He wants to lower his support. Thinks he is paying to much for them???? WTF umm you have them maybe 8 days a month how do you figure you pay to much, but I bloggress We will have a great family night and color lots and lots of eggs. I just hope that my kitchen survives baby S and the egg dye. Just in case I need it anyone know how to get egg dye off of stuff?

Thursday, April 2, 2009

here goes nothing

So I have decided to throw my hat in the ring and take a shot at writing for a local queer paper. I am scared senseless and hope that I don't let the editor down. I hope that my writing will be able to help people and I hope that I don't make a fool of myself. Wish me luck, and some good ideas.